Arrivederci

As obvious as it is, this shit isn't working for me anymore. My posts were getting less retarded which defeats the purpose of this weblog.
I'd like to thank all of my friends and the few random readers.

Back burner.

Making a big deal out of a small matter and disregarding the more important things in life. That is what most of us simpletons always do. We're fucking choking ourselves with our own ignorance! *sigh* I don't wanna start another emotional post because that's just not me (or is it?). It's just that some of the people around me are... oh, nevermind. I hope you guys will be able (at first i spelled it as 'abel'. I miss Abel Chua!) to resolve your problems soon.

An Assortment of Thoughts

This is going to be a long one and maybe one of the very few serious posts. So sit back, chill and relax (Okay, I have to say this, "Chillax").
Remember the post about me testing my will power? Didn't turn out so well. In fact, I did more of it instead. Oh well, I'm not going to start giving excuses. I admit defeat.

What got me to thinking was what troubles us after we leave high school? Studies? Yes, some of us are still struggling with but somehow we all manage to pull through. Work? I haven't really worked (experience the start of a career) yet so I'm just going to assume it's a bit like our studies (the struggles). What I think troubles us from years back until now and very most likely in the future to come is love. Yes, you may think it's a cliché problem but you've got to admit it I do have a point (eat that, motherfucker!).
Love is big word. It's a word generalized from many meanings. A few examples would be love up, for love, for the love of, in love, in love with, make love, and no love lost.
Developing feelings for someone can get you all hyped up. After awhile, confusion and uncertainty comes in. You wonder if he/she likes you the same way you do about him/her. I don't know why but it naturally leads to depressing us. Through depression we start disliking ourselves because he/she doesn't like us (so we assume). You start having negative thoughts and then you subconsciously start doing things you wouldn't normally do to get his/her attention and what I reckon you'd do is either write emotional messages on your MSN, drinking excessively, or smoking like a chimney.
We hurt ourselves physically and mentally because of this so-called love. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not being skeptical here. Truth to be told, I love love and all the wondrous glory it brings. What I'm trying to say is that you need to chill the fuck out (LoL). You're not experiencing love. You can never truly love a person until you've known him/her through and through. What you're experiencing are just mere crushes of physical attraction and maybe a small fraction of his/her character. I admit I was drawn in a few times by this confused-about-love problem.
A want is not a need. It is not required that you must have a someone in order to continue living. It's okay if you want to be loved. You ask me "But what's there to life if there is no love?", my reply is "Wait la, fucker. I not yet cakap habis." Haha. Yes, life is pretty much pointless without love. We take for granted the more important peoples in our lives. If you stop for a while to reflect, we get a lot of loving from our family and friends. Think about it. I'm quite sure you can go a few days without talking to your partner but can you do that with your friends? Food for thought, my dear friends.
All in all, if you like a particular someone, don't be afraid to step up your game but don't get yourself in too deep. Nothing wrong with just being friends with him/her first, right? If you've lost someone you love (or you think you do. Haha), I know how you feel and I feel for you but fret not. All is not lost. I'm not much of a believer in fate but if you guys are meant to be, you will be together (with effort, of course).
I once loved someone with all of my heart but I was not strong enough to go through the obstacles. I was a fucking coward. I bit the bullet, which has affected me greatly. Hopefully for the better.
So my dear friends, I'd like to dedicate this post to you. I want you all to know that I love you guys very much. Many a times, I don't see the point of life (not the suicidal kind) but you guys are the very reason that reminds me that life has its meaning. If you want a hug, I will give you my warmest. However, I can not guarantee you that my saliva won't get onto your shoulder =P

Wow... that was fucking giler senti. But it felt good =]
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Won't you come over? I know that you want to.
How does it feel to know I still want you?
Why do we always seem to want what we can't have? Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart and it says "Still run back for more."

I'm happy for you. I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart to know I can't hold you.
It's just hard to think I'll never get the chance to say you're mine.
But every time you hear this song you'll know you've made a mark on my heart and my mind.

Poisoned and Mung Bean Sprouts

At 5.30am I woke up with a wicked stomachache. I thought it was gastritis because the day before I only had lunch. So I ate cereals. After about an hour I tried to go back to bed even though my stomach was still feeling all fucked up. At 1.30pm I woke up and had a dire need to use the toilet. Spent at least 10 fucking minutes in the toilet.
Fuck you Infasha for poisoning me with your kaninabu chao cibai milo ais. Now I feel like crap.
Last night while my stomach was going through tumult, I thought of the icky Mung bean sprouts (a.k.a. taugeh). I'm not sure about this but it originated from India. So why the fuck is it in Chinese dishes?! They're tasteless. They get stuck in between your teeth and especially retainers (I feel you, my fellow bracer wearers). They're not packed with nutrients at all. They don't beautify dishes either. They make dishes like fried noodles look like there are dead anorexic maggots in the dish.
I'm going to whoop up a few more charcoal pills and reclaim my Elmo from Aya.

Exercising Self Control

I'm going to put myself to the test to see how strong my will is. I'm not going to tell what I'm going to do just yet because if I do I'm sure a few douchebags will make unnecessary comments to break my spirit and then kick dirt at my face when I'm down. Fuck you, you, and you.

Duration: 3 weeks (Wednesday 01/08/2007 to Wednesday 22/08/2007)

Tests: S and D

Moral support is greatly appreciated (especially monetary-wise).