Arrivederci

As obvious as it is, this shit isn't working for me anymore. My posts were getting less retarded which defeats the purpose of this weblog.
I'd like to thank all of my friends and the few random readers.

Back burner.

Making a big deal out of a small matter and disregarding the more important things in life. That is what most of us simpletons always do. We're fucking choking ourselves with our own ignorance! *sigh* I don't wanna start another emotional post because that's just not me (or is it?). It's just that some of the people around me are... oh, nevermind. I hope you guys will be able (at first i spelled it as 'abel'. I miss Abel Chua!) to resolve your problems soon.

An Assortment of Thoughts

This is going to be a long one and maybe one of the very few serious posts. So sit back, chill and relax (Okay, I have to say this, "Chillax").
Remember the post about me testing my will power? Didn't turn out so well. In fact, I did more of it instead. Oh well, I'm not going to start giving excuses. I admit defeat.

What got me to thinking was what troubles us after we leave high school? Studies? Yes, some of us are still struggling with but somehow we all manage to pull through. Work? I haven't really worked (experience the start of a career) yet so I'm just going to assume it's a bit like our studies (the struggles). What I think troubles us from years back until now and very most likely in the future to come is love. Yes, you may think it's a cliché problem but you've got to admit it I do have a point (eat that, motherfucker!).
Love is big word. It's a word generalized from many meanings. A few examples would be love up, for love, for the love of, in love, in love with, make love, and no love lost.
Developing feelings for someone can get you all hyped up. After awhile, confusion and uncertainty comes in. You wonder if he/she likes you the same way you do about him/her. I don't know why but it naturally leads to depressing us. Through depression we start disliking ourselves because he/she doesn't like us (so we assume). You start having negative thoughts and then you subconsciously start doing things you wouldn't normally do to get his/her attention and what I reckon you'd do is either write emotional messages on your MSN, drinking excessively, or smoking like a chimney.
We hurt ourselves physically and mentally because of this so-called love. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not being skeptical here. Truth to be told, I love love and all the wondrous glory it brings. What I'm trying to say is that you need to chill the fuck out (LoL). You're not experiencing love. You can never truly love a person until you've known him/her through and through. What you're experiencing are just mere crushes of physical attraction and maybe a small fraction of his/her character. I admit I was drawn in a few times by this confused-about-love problem.
A want is not a need. It is not required that you must have a someone in order to continue living. It's okay if you want to be loved. You ask me "But what's there to life if there is no love?", my reply is "Wait la, fucker. I not yet cakap habis." Haha. Yes, life is pretty much pointless without love. We take for granted the more important peoples in our lives. If you stop for a while to reflect, we get a lot of loving from our family and friends. Think about it. I'm quite sure you can go a few days without talking to your partner but can you do that with your friends? Food for thought, my dear friends.
All in all, if you like a particular someone, don't be afraid to step up your game but don't get yourself in too deep. Nothing wrong with just being friends with him/her first, right? If you've lost someone you love (or you think you do. Haha), I know how you feel and I feel for you but fret not. All is not lost. I'm not much of a believer in fate but if you guys are meant to be, you will be together (with effort, of course).
I once loved someone with all of my heart but I was not strong enough to go through the obstacles. I was a fucking coward. I bit the bullet, which has affected me greatly. Hopefully for the better.
So my dear friends, I'd like to dedicate this post to you. I want you all to know that I love you guys very much. Many a times, I don't see the point of life (not the suicidal kind) but you guys are the very reason that reminds me that life has its meaning. If you want a hug, I will give you my warmest. However, I can not guarantee you that my saliva won't get onto your shoulder =P

Wow... that was fucking giler senti. But it felt good =]
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Won't you come over? I know that you want to.
How does it feel to know I still want you?
Why do we always seem to want what we can't have? Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart and it says "Still run back for more."

I'm happy for you. I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart to know I can't hold you.
It's just hard to think I'll never get the chance to say you're mine.
But every time you hear this song you'll know you've made a mark on my heart and my mind.

Poisoned and Mung Bean Sprouts

At 5.30am I woke up with a wicked stomachache. I thought it was gastritis because the day before I only had lunch. So I ate cereals. After about an hour I tried to go back to bed even though my stomach was still feeling all fucked up. At 1.30pm I woke up and had a dire need to use the toilet. Spent at least 10 fucking minutes in the toilet.
Fuck you Infasha for poisoning me with your kaninabu chao cibai milo ais. Now I feel like crap.
Last night while my stomach was going through tumult, I thought of the icky Mung bean sprouts (a.k.a. taugeh). I'm not sure about this but it originated from India. So why the fuck is it in Chinese dishes?! They're tasteless. They get stuck in between your teeth and especially retainers (I feel you, my fellow bracer wearers). They're not packed with nutrients at all. They don't beautify dishes either. They make dishes like fried noodles look like there are dead anorexic maggots in the dish.
I'm going to whoop up a few more charcoal pills and reclaim my Elmo from Aya.

Exercising Self Control

I'm going to put myself to the test to see how strong my will is. I'm not going to tell what I'm going to do just yet because if I do I'm sure a few douchebags will make unnecessary comments to break my spirit and then kick dirt at my face when I'm down. Fuck you, you, and you.

Duration: 3 weeks (Wednesday 01/08/2007 to Wednesday 22/08/2007)

Tests: S and D

Moral support is greatly appreciated (especially monetary-wise).

Just when you thought I stopped

Finals ended last Thursday. w00t
Actually, the feeling of self-accomplishment isn't that great because all these while I've been fucking around. Notwithstanding that, I think I did pretty well.
A few minutes ago Ka Wee had to send me home because my white stallion (with the never-intended-to-be black head) died upon reaching his house. Talk about great timing, ey? That car has served me well over the years. Many great memories like the dislocating of the tyre from the shaft, the snapping of the timing belt (engine dies... no breaks!) which happened twice, the malfunctioning of the breaks (which caused me to hit another car on the back), and the very recent dynamo failure. Despite the mishaps, it brought me to many places, be it for or near, safely. It pains me to say this but I think I will have to replace it soon *insert sentimental soundtrack*
On a brighter note, my short sentimental story of my white stallion kicks the living daylights out of Aya's long-winded story of *yawn* (excuse me) the happy lala. Being the awesome dude that I am (Aya's so lucky to have a friend like me), I am going to give that story another try. *reads*
I got lost a few times. The story is great, though. It just needs to be... not told from the topsy-turvy mind of Aya.
Curiosity piqued? here you go; The Story of the Happy Lala. Warning: You might get weary by dullness. It is advisable that you smoke up a joint first before reading.

p.s. Aya, I love you

Vote for the twins

What I want you to do is to go to Cuppacakes, and vote for my twin sisters. To do so, all you need is to comment 'I VOTE FOR ALICIA', not fudgeface FUDGE. Just look at her, she doesn't deserve those fuckacakes. She's self-promoting herself by posting 2 pictures of herself. Furthermore, she has more fuckacakes compared to my sisters. Fucking greedy, I'd say.
All this is for a good cause. My twin sisters are suffering from a severe need of sweet cupcakes. Help them lessen their suffering.

Device for illegal reproduction MIA

My DVD-Rom/CD Recorder is gone! I tried updating Windows and searching for the driver on HP's website but both failed to bring back my device! I realized something that brought more disappointment to me, no more Heroes to download until next year!
I DAMN EMO SIAL NOW! Copeland emo sial.

After 10 fucking long years

I found the song that I've been looking for since I was 12. I was searching all over the internet for it but my efforts were all in vain because I didn't know the artist nor the song title.
Let's go back to the past... At a very young age I've already (innocently) supported piracy. I would download songs from bands like Green Day, Nirvana, and Metallica off the internet through websites that host the mp3s. Back then, everyone was using 56k dial-up so they could not download porn clips. They could only view still graphical porn. All except for my good mate, Jon. He would leave his connection on for as long as he could. Why? Because HIS FARDER GOT MARNEE!
Let's head back to the topic. I wanted to download a particular Green Day song and I ended up with this mp3 that was named "Numerical No.7". I played it and said "This ain't Green Day. I got fucking scammed" but as I listen to the song, I started to like it. A few minutes after, I LOVED it. For a while I couldn't be bothered about who's the artist or what's the song title, until my harddisk drive got corrupted (not because of porn, mind you. wear and tear, idiot).
And so the search began... and it lasted for 10 years.
A few years back my band, The Red Headed Cigars, performed for an event held by MMU. I clearly remember during one part of the break, they played the very same song that I was looking for. I went nuts and told myself that I must ask the organizer of the event for the tracklist for that night but because I take my music seriously (focused on other priorities), I forgot about it.
Now... A few weeks back Ah Dez (Kenny Fernandez. haha) told me about a compilation from the Ministry of Sound. I got interested and searched for it on mininova.org. I downloaded the one that interests me the most, Various Artists - Ministry of Sound Chillout Classics. As I was listening to it, THE SONG CAME UP. I went omgpullhairtakeoffboxersswingmytoolfromsidetoside! I FINALLY GOT IT! Now, I will never ever forget the name Robert Dougan, genre-blending music composer, because he composed Clubbed To Death (Kurayamino Variation), the classic featuring big beats and orchestral themes.

Here is the short version of it on YouTube:

God wants me to be fat

It's been awhile since my last post but, whatever. I'm going to wrap up a few things that has happened within the past few weeks.

First of all, Meng Hoe is an incompetent dipshit. A day before Labour Day he told me that the gym would be operating from 11am to 4pm the next day. I doubted him for a moment but his affirmation turned me into a believer. I assured myself by telling myself that Chinese people are hardworking... because we are greedy for money.
The next day, 3pm, we arrived at the entrance of the gym and the door was locked. Guess what we saw.
He managed to remember the fine print of "2/5/07 Rabu 11:00pagi - 4:00petang" (which he mistook for Labour Day) but he failed to see the fucking humongous Labour Day Hari Pekerja 1-5-2007 OFF DAY / HARI CUTI / DIAO NI PAPA DE JIBAI

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After verbally abusing Julian, we decided to look for Kenny, Jem, and Jerm. They were having lunch and Jem had to go back because he wanted to shit. You see, normal toilet seats can't accommodate his scrawny ass. Not enough junk in his trunk. I ended up with a free lunch and an icy cup of Chinese tea.
We then adjourned to Jem's place to watch him wax his car at a very slow rate. Julian got fascinated with Jem's farm of well fed fat cats.

Talk about entering a cage full of fat pussies.

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A few weeks back Kenny, Ken and I decided to go up to KL to hangout with Sin Han. A lot happened and it was a fun-packed weekend. Thank you, Sin Han, for being a great host.

I thought Kenny was dead because Ah Han's fheng-dao air-conditioner was at subzero temperature.

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This one is for Jem. Long story short, I took out the Pioneer player for my Perdana and this is the cheapest thing my dad could get for the C200 because no-one was driving it on a regular basis.

Haha

A few days ago this picture got outdated because my dad installed a Sony CD player. He finally thought it was weird too. Haha

TM (Streamyx) and a nincompoop to make your day

Here's an article I took from Wikipedia:

TMNet has been criticised locally on a range of issues. This section outlines some of the criticisms faced by TMNet.

Speed & Reliability

Many TMNet subscribers have complained about the slow speeds and the general lack of reliability of connections provided. However TMNet’s terms states, like those of other ISPs around the world, that the service they provide is based on a "best effort" basis, meaning that connections are not guaranteed to perform at their advertised theoretical speeds. This is largely due to aging copper lines, insufficient bandwidth, low effort from TMNet and the overly high contention ratios. Customers’ frustrations have been further aggravated by recent aggressive marketing campaigns launched by TMNet to attract more subscribers.

Last Mile Monopoly & Lack of Competition

TMNet's parent company, TM Bhd., has a monopoly of the last mile connections. Unlike the EU, Malaysia has not passed any legislation for the unbundling of last mile connections. This gives little chance for other third party companies to compete with TMNet and has thus created an unhealthy business environment. It is believed that the unbundling of the last mile connections is key to enabling new ISP's to fill the nation's growing broadband demand.

However, the last mile monopoly has also forced the other companies like Maxis Communications to provide wireless internet access services. Prices for these services still remain relatively expensive.

Peer-to-peer connection throttling

TMNet performs bandwidth throttling on P2P connections, a practice that is opposed by a large portion of TMNet Streamyx users. TMNet claims that P2P users are overusing bandwidth, causing other users to suffer poor connections. However, a majority of users believe that P2P is not responsible for the lack of bandwidth and accuse TMNet of overselling their available bandwidth.

AND A MOTHERFUCKING DIPSHIT WHO THINKS HE'S A FUCKING SMARTASS.
We all know you acting all smarty pants is just a facade for your stupidity. BODO! BODO MACAM BABI!

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On a much brighter side, it's nice to know that 'a herd of goats' is 'a school of kambing' and the plural of man is not only men but mans too. Thanks for lightening up my day.

Oh, and before I forget, I've got something to tell all the ladies. You all will like this and some would even love it.
Last week, Good Friday, I was involved in a minor car accident. I hit someone on the back. Totally my fault because I was driving fast.
You all may start laughing at me now.

Bukit Beruang: Overcrowded

Now, every day of my life, as long as I'm in Malacca, I hate the period between noon and midnight. During that period my internet connection gets disconnected several excruciating times. Once connected, the connection speed is unimaginably slow. So, what I do is I painstakingly keep reconnecting my internet connection until its speed is fast enough to load websites.
I'm not going to bitch about the people at TM because it's already a well known fact that those dumbfuck barnyard goats are incompetent dipshits. If someone close to you is working at TM, then he/she is excluded. Haha =P
I blame Bukit Beruang's non permanent residents that are starting to overcrowd the area. To be more specific, those motherfucking porno freak kids. They're sucking up all the internet bandwidth so that later on they can ogle at their pornofied monitors and perform mutual masturbations. You can tell that someone is a porno freak just by looking at his face. Here's an example:

Gahaha!

That's Aaron Lim, the owner of a hardcore motorcycle and a pair of dark purple underwear that scarred me mentally for life. He's not really into porn anymore but he still has the porno freak look. Wouldn't you agree?
I've been waiting for hours to download an album from Alesana, which is only 70.5MB in size. They look like a bunch of fags, I must admit, but their music is awesome.
If you see someone with the likes of Aaron, do all of us a favor by striking him down. However, do not strike Aaron down because he's a friend of mine.

Pros of BB being overcrowded: More chicks!, The area is developing. Did I mention more chicks? More chicks!

Camwhoring. Retardation vs Emo and Cute

So you wanna be a camwhore but first you'll need to choose the type of camwhore you wanna be. The common types are Emo and Cute. The least chosen one would be the Retardation type. It is the least chosen because not many can adapt themselves to such fine art.
I will present to you a few examples of each type and then later on you decide which type suits you best.

This is a standard camwhore post. A bit of side profile. Camera position either above or below the head. It brings bad luck if the camera is positioned parallel to your head. Facial expression should be minimal.

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EMO
Look away from the camera because it made you realize how useless you are. Think about your favorite goldfish that got eaten by sister's/brother's mongrel.
Let's make it more emo by turning your picture into a goth one.

Why be emo? Makes you look 'deep', complicated, and sympathetic. This is of course the artificial emo where is it believed that by being so you are mysterious and mysteriousness draws attention. In my opinion, about 90% of emo kids have perfect lives. Artificial emo rules.

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CUTE
Open your eyes to imitate your favorite anime characters. The bigger the better. While posing like that you will have to bear with the discomfort of your eyes drying up. It is normal if you feel like your eyes are going to pop out. However, do not pose too long because you are straining your eye muscles and might cause serious brain damage like brain hemorrhage.


Puff up your face like there's puke inside your mouth but you're too embarrassed to throw it out so you keep it inside. So cute.

Another cute pose that compliments the puke-in-the-mouth really well is the punch-yourself-for-being-a-dumbfuck pose. Double the cuteness.

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RETARDATION
Being clean is cool so show the world that your nostrils are clean. Show the world some proof! Multitasking is also cool. While picking your nose, do a thinking pose.


Everyone's a dickhead or a pussyface. So, admitting that you are one is cool. Place a wooden penis-shaped keychain in front of your face to portray the message clearly to the world.

Why spend so much money on drugs to get high? All you need to do is scratch your ass and...

...sniff your fingers?

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Credits go to: Myself for accepting to model for me. My Sony Ericsson phone. The wooden penis-shaped keychain from somewhere (My sister got it for me. She thinks I'm gay).

Women and Wheels

God made women beautiful. He even made them strong to give birth so that guys can sit back and relax. We love almost every aspect of their traits. All but their ability to ride motorcycles or drive cars. Before you start calling me a sexist, give thought to what I'm about to say.
Let's start off with the most recent event that has just happened. My sister, Alicia, was involved in a very minor car accident. Someone knocked on the back the car she was driving, which was my mom's Honda City, and she hastily said it was totally not her fault. Wrong.
If she was being attentive to her surroundings she could have avoided the accident by simply moving forward or swerving to left/right. Observing the damage on the car, she wasn't hit directly in the middle. It was more towards the side of the car. I'm assuming that she was a bit ahead of the car and that idiotic lesen-kopi-jilat-pantat driver was trying to move to her lane but overestimated her driving skill. I bet my sister was looking at the rear view mirror but not to look out for traffic. She was styling her hair or putting mascara on her eyelashes or whichever 143,534,623 things that you girls do to your hair and faces.
I have a friend who was almost involved in a fatal accident. He was doing 140kmph on the long stretch to Pulau Gadong and suddenly a car came out from a small junction and into my friend's path. He jammed his brakes but the distance between him and that car was too short for his car to come to a full stop. The driver of the other car was so frightened that he/she stopped his/her car in the middle of the road which was not a good thing for my friend because he had too little space to go either way (left or right) through. How did he avoid that could-have-been-fatal accident? He swerved to the left side and went off the road and was inches away from entering the paddy field to avoid that car. He got back onto the road and pointed the middle finger at the still-stunned driver. But what if it was my sister or any other woman for that matter? Gary would probably say "99.63% fatal accident".
Women are simply not meant to drive or ride motorcycles. They're not attentive to their surroundings when they're driving. Those that drive think that the body of their cars are made out of solid titanium which allows them to drive like how they do or car insurances can cover for everything and have limitless insurance claims, and those that ride motorcycles think that their motorcycles are going as slow as bicycles.
Ladies, please don't be mad at me because of this post alone. There will be more to come =D
If you so gracefully accept the fact that lipsticks and wheels don't go together, then I sincerely salute you. Think about it... wouldn't it be nice if a guy picks you up? Furthermore, your chances of living triples compared to you driving and endangering others as well.

Hahahahaha! You can call me a sexist now =D

LMFO: Julian

I'm going to start a mini project on belittling my close friends. I call it The "Let's Make Fun Of:" Project. I wisely handpick my victims. So if you're chosen, you should be proud.
To start off this project, our lucky number one would be Julian. Let's start bashing...

Full name: Julian Chow Meng Hoe
With no disrespect to his parents or the people responsible for naming him, Julian's Chinese name can really depict him as an 'ah beng'. Even if you're not Chinese, just saying out "Ah Hoe" makes you 34.3% Chinese. Shouting his Chinese name would also make you sound more pissed than you already are. Example, if you're pissed with him and you shout "Julian!" or "Julian Chow (ending with 'hai', 'cipet', 'niama', or 'chow dog')!" it would make you an angry person but if you shout "Julian Chow Meng! Hoe!" it would make you sound like a person about to unleash an uncontrollable rage. Very much like a drunk 'ah beng' who just found out that someone, involved in an illegal badminton challenge, played for his girlfriend and then "played" her.
Let's head on to Julian's appearance. I want you to read what I'm about to say first then only scroll down to see the picture to keep the fun's intensity! What I want you to do is take a quick look at the picture and then look away. Ask yourself what was the most obvious thing.
Scroll down and look...














Was it his I-am-going-to-break-your-car-to-half face? No. Was it his muscular body which he so vainly display? No.
Yes, we all would have to agree that those twins staring at us were the most obvious. Looks like they were being aroused by really cold iced tea which was indeed a tragedy.

Conversation over breakfast

Pai Kut!

I met up with Styne for breakfast at a dim sum restaurant near my house. The picture of the pai kut is for Joanne as a sign of gratitude for suggesting dim sum for breakfast.
How on earth did we wake up so early? I stayed up the whole night and Styne had class at 8am. That's how.
After burning my mouth with hot hot lo mai gai, Styne and I started yapping away. What we yapped about? This:
Please don't ask me what it is or what happened. If you know, please spare our poor friend by keeping it to yourself. He's lost so much, including his neck.
You may laugh about it but what if you were in his shoes? How would you feel? I drew that picture with a lot of guilt and also a lot of tears from laughing.
Actually, I have more to say but I'm really sleepy. It's already 9.45am and I should really sleep soon. I'll continue later when I wake up.

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Styne's childhood nightmare

Pot-Bellied Pig

"Ain't she a beauty?!"

in memory of Steve Irwin

I've found the perfect pet for me. It resembles everything that I am. Just look at it. It's fat, ugly, and lazy. If I don't bathe for a few days I'll smell like it too.

Late last night I was chatting with Joanne and I presented to her my freshly made blog. She told me she enjoys reading blogs which shows how nosy she is. Huhu. She also said she actually enjoys reading Xiaxue's blog. That got me to thinking. I've heard of her but never bothered to find out. So I visited her blog and was expecting a really pretty girl with a bitchy attitude. Bare in mind that this is not a hate post. I don't hate someone for no rhyme of reason unless that someone does things to me to hurt my feelings. I'm expressing my disappointment. She's so famous that her blog gets like 20k hits per day and I expected her to be some hot chick. Her posts aren't that interesting either. It's the same old shit that amazingly still draws attention; talks of racism, bitch about a particular stuff like it'll cause the world to end, countless pictures of yourself trying to seduce the camera, having bitch-fits whenever confronted with criticism, etc. Indeed she is bitchy especially towards criticisms but she is not pretty. She's one of those unfortunate girls that their faces remind me of pigs. You don't think so? That's because it is inevident under so much makeup which I give her credit for. If she runs out of foundation or cover-up, clay is a good substitute. It's free too! The drawbacks of using clay? It probably stinks and your skin will suffocate. Nothing cheap is good; Nothing good is cheap.
I'd like to thank Xiaxue. If it wasn't for her wouldn't have found the Pot-Bellied Pig which is so cute.

If blogging is stupid then why are you blogging?

I know you'll go "Wow! Nic actually started a blog. This will probably be his first and last post." You may be right but fuck you for being a nonbeliever.
Almost all of my friends have their own blogs and I think the whole idea of blogging is stupid. Not that my friends post stupid stuff (or do they?). They should share their thoughts when we meet up for our casual gatherings instead of 'blogging' them. If we all do that, poor Gary wouldn't always be our main source of entertainment. So, why am I blogging or why did I even bother creating an account on www2.blogger.com (Why couldn't it just be www.blogger.com instead of www2.blogger.com? I guess with the number 2 in it makes it look more high-tech and up-to-date. For an example, if you were given two files to download, which one would you most likely download; PornDialerCheapRatesNoBluff.exe or PornDialerCheapRatesNoBluff v2.exe? The latter, of course. That way, you'd be able to chat with the more recently added young pornstars instead of grannies in their panties.)? It's because of who I am. If it's stupid, I'd take it on. I'm not being hypocritical, fucker. Shouldn't you be glad I started blogging because of you instead of calling me a hypocrite? I want to do what you do. Get involved with what you do so that we'll share more things in common. The things I do to keep our friendship alive and fresh surpass your expectations on me.

Noticed I asked a lot of questions and answering them? I like talking to myself. Haha